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Expectations

Throughout my life, I was always someone who had expectations. I had expectations about life. I had expectations of other people, and I had expectations of myself. Not only that, but these expectations had me doing things for other people that I didn’t really want to do, and then when said person didn’t reciprocate a favor that I expected from them, I would get angry.

I’ve learned that if you ever want to experience the fullness of true unconditional love, you have to release your expectations of other people and yourself. I’m not saying be a doormat or become someone who procrastinates on everything, but when you’re only doing things for others because you expect something in return, you’re going to spend your life extremely disappointed and frustrated at how no one ever meets your expectations.

I don’t want to be that person. I used to be that person, but now I’ve seen what it does. I’ve seen how it destroys relationships. I’ve seen how it does nothing but harbor bitterness, resentment, and anger. I’ve seen how it destroys the person who carries it and the people who can never seem to make them happy.

I’ve spent a lot of time lessening my expectations of others and myself already, but I feel I need to go deeper. I want to love and appreciate the people in my life just as they are. Even if they may not do what I want them to do or act in a way that I would act, I want to open myself and accept them for the beautiful souls that they are (and besides, what I want or how I would act isn’t always the best way anyway).

I am in a constant state of examining myself and learning how I can be a better me, and I have been shown that one of the biggest things I want to work on is unconditional love and not just for others, but for myself as well. I have beaten myself up for not being perfect, for doing stupid things and for being inconsiderate. I’m guilty of so many things, but so are all of us. None of us are perfect, yet we are at the same time.

I will never, ever do things for someone that I don’t really want to do, so that I can play victim later or so that I can be seen. I will also acknowledge when someone does something for me. I acknowledge that people show love differently. Maybe they are doing things for me that I don’t see because they aren’t necessarily what I would do in the situation and that is okay. It’s the thought that counts. The fact that they are doing anything at all is what matters.

I want everything I do to be sincere and from the bottom of my heart, no strings attached. I free those I love from my expectations, and I free myself from using them to keep everyone at arm’s length.

Cheers,
S.L.

 

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